


Alone

by otomekaidii



Series: Love for Levi [5]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Apologies, Autistic Coded Character, Autistic Levi, Cheeky Levi, Consent, Dating, Dorks in Love, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Gender-neutral Reader, Healthy Relationships, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Levi cries a lot, Levi has a breakdown, Levi wants to lock you up, M/M, Mammon is an awesome friend, Mental Health Issues, Other, Self Harm (mild), Self Harm Scars, Self-Esteem Issues, but only if you like it, communication is important, safe words, setting healthy boundaries, yandere levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:20:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27508240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otomekaidii/pseuds/otomekaidii
Summary: You and Levi are the perfect couple. But after what should have been an amazing date, things start to unravel.
Relationships: Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader
Series: Love for Levi [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020585
Comments: 7
Kudos: 159
Collections: OM Characters





	1. Before

**Author's Note:**

> I did use the “yandere Levi” tag - but I promise he’s a good boy. He just has a lot of issues to work through, and nothing non-consensual happens.

You and Levi had been a couple officially for a few months now, and as far as you were concerned he was the best boyfriend you could have ever asked for. He always included you in what he was doing, he made a point to find things you could enjoy together, and he was always up for cuddles when you were alone even if he was focusing on something else. Things had been going so well in fact, that he had even started designing a special...sexy…Lord of Shadows and Henry cosplay for you both to wear. 

He had really impressed you with how quickly he had opened up to you too. Sure he was still a stuttering, blushing mess - but he didn’t let that stop him from giving or receiving affection. So long as you were alone in his room that is, and promised not to mention how red his face was, or ask about whatever that was that was suddenly poking you in the back. Doing anything besides holding pinkies (pinkies, not hands) in public was still sure to make his brain short circuit, but he was trying hard to work through that so that he could take you on more dates in the Devildom. 

This particular weekend, you had decided to spend it camped out in his room. From the moment classes ended on Friday (he even made the effort to attend in person classes that day so as to not waste any time waiting for you), to the moment you left for school on Monday: you were all his and he had your undivided attention. 

As you reclined in his tub, reading a new manga he had recommended, Levi was resting his head on your stomach with his arms wrapped around your middle. It was Sunday afternoon and he was all too aware of how little time he had left with you before you’d have to leave and go back to your room before school on Monday. 

The feeling of your fingers absentmindedly combing through his hair was absolutely heavenly to him and he just did not want this moment to end. He couldn’t think of a time when he had been more at peace. He had spent so many days for so long a nervous ball of anxiety, but with you here now? It felt like he could finally breathe. For once, he wasn’t worried what others had thought of him or afraid of making himself look stupid. It was abundantly clear how much you loved him, and how much you cherished the time you spent together. He trusted you completely. 

“Hey, it’s almost dinner time you know.” 

You had closed the manga and looked down at Levi as he cuddled close to you.

“What do you say we go out and get something to eat?”

He turned his head slightly so he could glare at you. Did you seriously think he wanted to move right now? Much less leave his room? Or even the house for that matter? 

The sight of Levi trying to glare at you from under his bangs while snuggled around your waist, covered in a Ruri-chan blanket made you giggle. Did he even know how cute he was? Probably not. He did things like this unconsciously, especially when he was pouting, that just made you want to hold him close and never let go. He was just so, so cute.

Sitting up, you leaned over so that you could kiss Levi on the head. You stayed bent over like that, with one of your arms around his back hugging him and the other gently stroking his scalp as you continued to play with his hair. 

“I want to take you on a date Levi. Please?” 

Now that made him blush. He couldn’t say no to you when you asked him so sweetly like that. The idea that you wanted to go out with him, intentionally, so that other people would see you together warmed his heart. Insecurity still plagued him, so these little reminders that you were in fact choosing him and were not ashamed of having a yucky, otaku like himself as your boyfriend did wonders for his self esteem. 

“Fine,” he mumbled into your stomach, giving you a firm squeeze. 

“Um, sweetheart, you kinda have to let go if we are gonna leave.” 

Levi groaned at your nagging, but made no move to release you. So you did the only thing you knew how to do when he was being childish - you tickled him. 

Or at least you tried. But he was expecting this, and no sooner had you begun to move your hand to his side, than he began digging his fingers into your own, causing you to squeal and throw yourself backwards onto his nest of pillows in an attempt to escape. Since you had been laying in his tub with him, there really was nowhere else to go.

“Ok ok ok, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” you screamed in between gasping breaths. Levi was hovering above you now with the most mischievous look on his face, and he finally ceased his assault, allowing you to catch your breath. 

“That’s what you get, normie,” he smirked at you, relishing in his victory. 

“Then maybe you can teach me how it’s done, senpai?” 

Levi froze, his cheeks flushing the darkest shade of red you had perhaps ever seen, while his smirk was replaced by a look of pure surprise and shock. You took advantage of this of course, to loop your arms around his neck and pull him into a gentle kiss. It only took him a moment to close his eyes and return the gesture, but you soon pulled away.

“C’mon. Let’s go. I’m hungry.” you gave him one small peck on the tip of his nose. He slowly nodded his head in agreement, keeping his eyes closed as he was far too embarrassed to look at you right now from this close. It really wasn’t fair how you could just...break him...like that sometimes. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it. 

————

“So where are you taking me?” 

You and Levi had been walking through the streets of the Devildom for what felt like forever (it was only 15 minutes), and he was getting tired. As much as he loves you and wanted to make you happy, even he had his limits. And he was quickly approaching his limit for physical-outdoor activity. 

“We are almost there. I promise. You’re gonna love it.”

He really doubted that. He loved spending time with you and watching you smile, but that was more about the company he was keeping rather than the activity itself. The odds of him finding enjoyment in the restaurant you were leading him to right now were slim to none. 

As you turned another corner, it didn’t take Levi long to notice the elegant building on the street in front of him, decorated in authentic, Japanese style. His eyes went wide, and you could feel his pace quicken as he tugged at your pinky to get a closer look. You laughed as you followed after him, happy that your surprise had been a success. 

Levi was marveling at the building in front of him - an honest to goodness perfect replica of a traditional, human realm, Japanese tea house. When did this get here? And how did _he_ not know about it? And how did _you_ find it?

“It just opened today,” you offered, “and I had some help from Asmo and Mammon to keep it a secret from you. You have no idea how hard it was to make sure you wouldn’t see any of their flyers or advertising.”

Levi looked at you, pure unadulterated love in his eyes. You were so incredibly perfect. He knew he was weird, and how enthusiastic and single minded about his interests he could get - but you never discouraged him. In fact, right now you were giving him permission to geek his little otaku heart out. He would never be able to express to you the depth of his gratitude for that. 

Not wasting any time, Levi adjusted his grip on your hand so that he was holding it properly (it was the least he could do for you, after all), and led you inside. 

————

Sitting at your table inside the tea house, you had taken out your DDD and were browsing Devilgram, checking up on the rest of the boys, whom you hadn’t seen much of all weekend. Levi had gone to the bathroom a while ago, and you assumed he was now taking photos of every single detail from the sinks, to the light fixtures, to the doorknobs, considering how long he had been gone. 

As you scrolled, one particular photo caught your eye and you had to do a double take.

It featured a small building with a gently sloping roof, wooden posts holding it up to form a covered wrap around porch, and wide sliding doors on one side. It was a building that looked awfully familiar. The same building in fact, that you were currently sitting in. 

Tapping on the photo to get a better look, you immediately realized two things - 

  1. the image was posted by none other than Mammon and
  2. It was posted less than a minute ago



Just as you had pieced together what exactly was happening, a commotion caught your attention near the building's entrance. Hesitantly, you turned around, trying not to be too obvious, and stole a glance at the group of very out of place demons that had arrived. 

Unfortunately, it didn’t matter how subtle you may have thought you were, Mammon noticed you instantly. You swore he had some sort of radar or heightened sense that let him track you down and pick you out of a crowd. He may have been your best friend, but dear god, did he not know how to mind his own business. 

“Oi! They’re over here!” 

Mammon’s voice rang out as he hurried towards you, his brothers trailing behind him. 

“What are you doing here?” you hissed, as he sat down next to you.

“Hey! What’s that for? I came to check on ya is all.”

“And you had to bring your entire family?!”

“Not like I had much choice. Once they figured out where I was goin’ there was no stoppin’ ‘em,” he pouted.

You heaved a sigh, admitting defeat. Mammon was right. You knew him well enough to know he’d never intentionally bring his brothers along to crash your date. It wasn’t out of the question for him to show up unannounced, but he did not like sharing your attention anymore than Levi did. 

As the group settled down around the table and began chatting and ordering food, you realized that Levi had yet to return. Surely he’d be done by now, you thought. The bathroom might have been interesting, but there was no way there were that many things to photograph. 

“I’ll be right back. Please try to behave,” you pleaded. Asmo gave you a look of mock indignation, and you rolled your eyes at him in response. Yeah, there was no way they were going to behave. 

————

Levi had just left the bathroom, and was heading back to the table to join you when he heard the voices of his brothers disrupting the peace and quiet of the tea house. _This was not happening. This could NOT be happening._ But as Levi looked up from his DDD towards your table, he was forced to accept the fact that this was, most definitely, happening. 

He stopped in his tracks and just glared at his brothers. How did they know you were here?! This had to have been Mammon’s fault, he was sure of it. He remembered that you had told him that Mammon had helped keep the surprise a secret, so he grew only more certain that his idiot brother had done this on purpose because he just couldn’t let you be happy without him. 

But his anger soon turned inward as we continued to watch you chat with his brothers. You didn’t seem to be bothered by their arrival. It looked like you were laughing and smiling and having a good time. If only he hadn’t left you alone. Why did he take so long in the bathroom? As much as he wanted to continue blaming Mammon, he knew that if he had returned sooner, he would be the one sitting next to you right now and making you laugh. 

As Levi continued to reflect on the time he had spent with you at the tea house, he started to realize just how terrible of a date he had been. He barely paid you any attention. Instead he had rambled endlessly about the decorations, and furniture, and costumes the servers wore. He had started listing all his favorite anime scenes that had occurred in tea houses, and explaining the origins of certain treats and the ways they were used in manga to create romantic scenes. He hadn’t talked _with_ you at all.

The guilt felt crushing, leaving Levi with an unpleasant tightness in his chest as he continued to think about all the ways he had failed you today, and he wondered just how happy you could possibly be spending time with someone like him. How many other times had he ignored you this weekend? Or even before that? He couldn’t remember, which only made him feel worse. You looked so happy right now as his brothers fawned over you. Did you ever look that happy with him? 

Levi couldn’t take it anymore, and retreated back into the narrow hallway that led to the bathroom to escape from the stares he was certain he was now attracting. He had been so selfish today. And thoughtless. You must be sick of him by now. A good boyfriend would have done something for you in return and taken you somewhere special. They wouldn’t have let you spoil them and completely ignore you as they were consumed with their own stupid obsessions. 

“There you are. I was wondering what happened to you.”

The soft, gentle sound of your voice interrupted his thoughts, and Levi lifted his head to face you. 

“Levi? Babe, what’s wrong?” you knit your eyebrows in concern at the gloomy expression that had darkened his face. Something had happened in the time you had been apart, it was like someone had knocked the wind out of his sails. 

“Hmm? Oh nothing,” Levi forced a smile and wiped his eyes on the arm of his shirt, “I’m just fine. See? I think I’ve been outside too long is all. Not used to all this fresh air.” 

He gave you a weak laugh, that you suppose had been intended to convince you he was alright, but in reality all it did was confirm your suspicions. You weren’t going to pry the truth out of him here though, not while you were in public, and certainly not while his brothers were only a couple yards away and could interrupt you at any moment. 

“Alright, I understand. I’m feeling kinda tired now too. So why don’t we go ahead and head back?”

You noticed Levi glancing over your shoulder, “Don’t worry about them. Lucifer’s there. He’ll pay,” you said, smiling softly as you took his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. Levi nodded in acknowledgement as the two of you headed for home. 

————

It was late in the evening now, and you had been back in Levi’s room for a few hours. He hadn’t said anything to you the entire way home, or even after you had returned with him to his room. You knew he wasn’t ignoring you though - if anything he was paying even more attention to you than usual and wasn’t satisfied unless there was no visible space between the two of you. 

Currently, you were laying in his tub together while his head rested on your chest. You were stroking his hair with one hand, and caressing the arm he had wrapped around your waist with the other.

You had tried a few times to get him to open up to you since arriving home, but the most you could get from him were a few noncommittal hums or sometimes he’d simply hug you closer. So you had settled for just cuddling with him for now and doing what you could to remind him of your presence, hoping that was enough to interrupt his dark thoughts.

The truth was, Levi hadn’t heard a single thing you said to him after you had started heading for home. He heard your voice yes, but he couldn’t process what you were saying so the occasional hum was really all he could offer in response. Every time you had tried to speak to him and he couldn’t answer he hated himself a little bit more. And he also hated the fact that you probably thought he was ignoring you right now. He wasn’t trying to. He knew he had messed up enough on the date earlier, and who knows how often he had messed up before that, he really didn’t want to mess up anymore.

Occasionally he’d feel you press a kiss to his forehead, and he’d wonder why you were being so sweet to him. He didn’t deserve it. You were far too bright and kind and lovely to be with a dark, twisted otaku like him.

But even as his thoughts turned against him, he knew he could never give you up. It didn’t matter if he thought it was in your best interest to be with anyone else. He didn’t want you to leave him, and with each passing moment he grew more fearful that you would one day soon realize just how much of a socially awkward loser he was, and never come back. 

————

The following morning, you awoke just before your alarm. You had fallen asleep at some point during the night while holding Levi, and your body was incredibly stiff from maintaining that position. Levi was still next to you, but he was facing the other direction now, using your arm as a pillow. Since his arm was no longer around your waist, you decided now was the time to carefully climb out of the tub to enjoy a nice hot shower in his bathroom. 

When Levi woke up, he immediately noticed that your warmth was missing from next to him. He was seized by panic as he shot up, frantically glancing around his room for any trace of you. He knew it. You were going to leave. You left. Of course you did. 

He was almost in tears when you emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a robe, drying off your hair with your towel. 

“Good morning Levi,” you greeted him as you walked over to your bag to pick out some clothes, completely oblivious to the situation you had walked in on. 

Suddenly you felt his arms wrap around you from behind as he hugged you and pressed his face into your shoulder. You were still here. You hadn’t left yet. 

“Don’t go,” he mumbled. 

“Go? I’m not going anywhere. I’m just getting dressed for school,” you tried to laugh it off, slightly confused as to what he could be getting at and wondering if maybe he had a nightmare that had left him with some lingering feelings. 

“I know. Don’t.” 

“Levi, I have to go to school. I’m an exchange student. Lucifer would kill me.”

“You can stay here. Take online classes with me. You don’t have to go.” 

At that you turned around to get a better look at him, trying to see if you could glean anything about what was behind his behavior from his expression. The look on his face was not one you recognized. He looked...scared? But not the normal scared like he had seen a ghost. This was almost like panic. His eyes were wide and pleading, darting back and forth as he scanned your face for any sign that you were going to change your mind and stay. 

DING 

Your DDD went off and you moved to grab it when Levi caught your wrist, firmly. 

“Please. Don’t,” was all he said. 

“Levi, c’mon, I really need to check my messages. It’s probably Lucifer reminding me I have breakfast duty today and….”

“NO!” 

Levi cut you off, tightening his grip on your wrist. Why didn’t you understand? He wasn’t ready for you to go yet. He wouldn’t be able to handle it if you did. And he just knew that the minute he let you out that you would never come back. You’d meet up with his brothers and hang out with them and just forget about him altogether and never want to see him again. He was nothing compared to them, and he knew it, and if you left you were bound to figure that out too. He hadn’t even made things up with you for the ruined date yesterday, he couldn’t let you leave until he knew you understood just how sorry he was. 

“Levi.” 

You tried your best to keep your tone firm and even, but the truth was you were scared right now. He may not have realized it yet, but Levi had shifted into his demon form, and his tail was thrashing wildly behind him. He didn’t really seem to be looking at you either, his eyes looked absolutely panicked now and it was like you were staring at a wild animal, not the precious otaku you had come to love. You hadn’t seen him like this since the TSL trivia battle.

“Levi. You need to let me go. You’re hurting my wrist.”

It wasn’t quite a command, so it hadn’t invoked your pact, but something about your tone of voice snapped Levi out of his daze. He released you immediately, as if he had been burned, and he looked absolutely horrified as realization dawned on him. 

You breathed a sigh of relief, “Hey. I really have to go get ready now. We can talk after school. Ok?” 

Levi gave you a weak nod, refusing to make eye contact. He kept his eyes locked on a single spot on the floor, as he listened to the sound of you grabbing your bag and exiting his room. Shame. That’s all he felt right now. Soul crushing, humiliating, white hot shame. 

He crumpled to the floor, clawing desperately at his chest as wave after wave of panic and anxiety crashed over him. It was only then that he became aware that had shifted into his demonic form, and he let out a strangled cry as the tears began to flow. 

What had he done? What the hell had he done?


	2. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After talking to Mammon, you manage to figure out what’s wrong with Levi and the two of you have a serious heart to heart, setting some important boundaries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes some descriptions of (non-life threatening) self harm scars.
> 
> There is a lot of angst here, but I think the ending more than makes up for that.

You had barely been able to concentrate during school. Your thoughts were full of Levi and what had happened this morning. You weren’t sure what had caused him to snap like that, but you were willing to bet it had something to do with why he was so upset yesterday. Now if only you could figure out what had upset him then, you might be able to figure out a way to help.

You sighed again, as you poked the food on your plate. It was lunch time now and normally you would be texting Levi to see how things were going in his classes and to update him on your day, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do that until you got your thoughts in order and had a proper conversation with him. 

“Whattya sighin’ for? Ya been doing it all day and it’s startin’ ta get on my nerves.”

Though he was trying to sound annoyed, you could tell that Mammon was concerned. He had apologized to you while helping you prepare breakfast for crashing your date with Levi yesterday. He knew he should have changed his plans once he realized everyone else wanted to tag along. (He didn’t bother to try to deny the fact that he still would have shown up on his own if it had been possible.)

You had been quick to forgive him, which Mammon appreciated, but he also wasn’t sure you had been really listening to him all that much. Your mind had seemed to be elsewhere. Normally he would have called you out on it too, demanding you pay attention to The Great Mammon and act a bit more grateful he was helping you out. But he got the feeling that even if he had said anything it wouldn’t have made a difference - you just seemed that distracted.

“Hey. Ya gonna tell me what’s up?” 

His voice had softened now, the teasing tone gone. You looked up to see Mammon watching you intently. You tried to offer him a smile, but you were unsuccessful and the face you made was somewhere between pain and worry. 

“I...ummm...promise this stays between us ok? You can’t tell ANYONE. And you have to promise that you will not try to do anything about it. Ok?”

Mammon did not like the sound of that. He furrowed his brow, but agreed nonetheless. 

“I...I got in a fight with Levi. I think at least. I’m not sure. This morning he just wasn’t...well, he wasn’t himself. And it kinda scared me. So I left. And we haven’t talked yet. I don’t even know what to say to him.” 

Mammon listened closely to your words. He still didn’t know what happened, but he could tell you were doing everything you could to avoid saying it. A fight with Levi? Pfft. What did you do? Insult Ruri-chan? How could you not be sure if you had a fight? And what do you mean Levi wasn’t….

“HE WHAT?!” Mammon jumped to his feet, ready to head home immediately and beat the living daylights out of his younger brother. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. That pathetic, whiny brat transformed on you?! What the fuck was he thinking?? 

“Mammon! Please! Calm down!”, you pleaded with him. People were staring now and you really didn’t want to cause a scene. The last thing you needed was more trouble with angry demons, upset because you disturbed their lunch. 

Taking one look at you, Mammon sat down with a huff. He was still ready to rip Levi limb from limb, but had promised you that he wouldn’t try to do anything about what you had told him. He’d just have to come up with some reason to teach him a lesson later. 

“Fine.”

“Thank you. It wasn’t like it was on purpose…”

“That’s even worse!”

“...He was just so upset. He was scared of something, but I don’t know what. And he just kept asking me not to leave.”

“So what are ya gonna do? You’re not seriously going back to him, are ya?”

“Of course I’m going back to him! Don’t be ridiculous. He didn’t actually DO anything. He got upset, but he let me go.

I just...need to find out what happened to him that got him so worked up. Everything seemed to be going so well until yesterday afternoon when y’all showed up at the tea house.” 

“Oh.”

“What do you mean ‘oh’? Do you know something I don’t?”

“Errrr...well…kinda?”

You were glaring at Mammon now. _‘Kinda’ my ass_ , you thought. 

“Alright alright! Stop lookin’ at me like that! I’ll tell ya! Sheesh. 

Ok. So look. Levi’s the Avatar of Envy right? Means he gets jealous real easy. Up until now, y’all have sorta been off in your own little world and haven’t paid much attention to the rest of us. 

But yesterday, we all showed up durin’ your date, yeah? When Levi wasn’t even at the table. 

So I’m thinkin’ he saw us all talkin’ and havin’ fun and whatever and got jealous. And that’s what set him off.”

Ah. That made sense. Why didn’t you think of that earlier? How could you possibly be so dense as to not notice that your own boyfriend was jealous?? He’s the personification of Envy for crying out loud! You knew that! Jealousy should have been the first thing you suspected given the timing of everything. 

“Ughhhhh,” you groaned, leaning back in your seat, covering your face with your hands. Just how oblivious were you? 

“So, this morning, when he was saying all the stuff about not wanting me to leave….”

“Probably ‘cause he was feeling insecure and scared ya’d leave ‘im for good.”

You let out another loud groan of frustration at your own stupidity. You didn’t mean to, but you had hurt Levi unintentionally. No wonder he was upset. You knew that didn’t excuse his behavior, especially him grabbing you, but it at least gave you a place to start so that you could try to work things out with him. 

“Thanks, Mammon. Don’t you dare let anyone ever make you feel like the stupid one, you got it? You’re a lifesaver.”

“Whatever,” Mammon replied, blushing. You couldn’t help but laugh. He really was a great best friend and you had never been more thankful that he was part of your life than right now.

————

“Levi? Hey, I’m home.” 

You knocked on his door again, but still no response. You had been expecting that though. So taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you opened his door and let yourself inside.

What greeted you, was an absolute disaster. Figurines, plushies, books, and DVD cases were scattered everywhere. One of his computer monitors was even on the floor, cracked and ruined beyond repair. Your chest tightened as you surveyed the damage. What had happened after you left? 

Careful of where you were walking, trying to avoid stepping on anything as best you could, you moved further inside the room to look for your Leviathan. When you found him, he was curled up in his tub, still in his demon form with his shirt removed. Seeing him like that made you gasp, and you had to fight back tears. He just looked so broken. His face was red from crying and stained with dried tears, his hair was a disheveled, tangled mess, and you saw what had appeared to be claw marks all over his chest, that by now were mostly healed but still appeared very fresh.

Without another thought, you slipped into the tub with him, spooning him from behind, pressing gentle kisses to his shoulder. You knew you still needed to talk to him, but you had to make sure he was alright first before anything else. He wasn’t going to be able to listen to a thing you said if he was still as worked up as he had been. Levi continued to sleep, breathing steadily, and you knew he must have been exhausted. Pulling the blanket up to cover you both, you settled down, snuggled behind him and went to sleep. 

————

As Levi started to wake up, the first thing he became aware of was the blanket covering his body. He didn’t remember covering himself up and wondered when he had managed to do that. But while he was pondering about the origins of the blanket, he started to become aware of the warmth that was pressing against his back, and the arm draped over his side. 

His breath hitched, and he desperately fought the urge to immediately turn around. You couldn’t possibly be here. There was no way you could. After what he did...he choked back a sob as another flood of memories and anxieties washed over him. 

“Levi, you okay?” 

That was your voice. There was no mistaking it. It was so soft, and clear, and soothing. Cautiously, Levi rolled over so he was facing you. 

“Hey babe,” you whispered, brushing the tangled mess that was his bangs out of his eyes so you could get a better look at him.

Levi couldn’t hold it back any longer, and broke down again, in a mixture of relief and regret now that you were right in front of him. His guilt still weighed heavily on him, but he was so incredibly happy that you were here.

As you watched Levi cry, you did the only thing you could and wrapped him up in a hug. You didn’t want to tell him everything was “alright” because it honestly wasn’t, so you decided on “I’m here” as you rubbed gentle circles on his back. 

“I’m here, Levi. I’m here.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.”

“Hey, shhhhh. We will talk later ok? Just calm down right now, alright? I’m here. We will talk later. I promise.”

Levi nodded, burying his face into your shoulder, careful not to stab you with his horns. He had tried to shift back to his human form when he first noticed you, but he was still too anxious and agitated to manage it. 

It took a good hour for Levi to finally calm down enough to talk to you. At some point his tail had become entwined around your leg, but his hold was gentle. You could tell he was being cautious and you appreciated it and the intimate gesture. 

After another moment of silence as Levi gathered his thoughts, he started to apologize:

“I’m sorry,” Levi said, “I shouldn’t….I shouldn’t have grabbed you….”

Levi struggled to get his words out. His throat burned and felt so raw. But he knew he needed to say this. He needed to tell you how he felt and that he knew it was all his fault. He knew you were going to leave after you finished talking, so he had to make sure he said all he had to say before that.

“Thank you for saying that,” you replied, kissing his forehead, “I mean it. I really appreciate it. Thank you.”

You could tell he had more to say, so you calmly waited, rubbing his back gently and resting your cheek against his head, reassuring him that you were still here and ready to listen. 

“I saw you with my brothers yesterday and...I just...I got jealous,” his voice was scarcely above a whisper now, but he kept going, “And, I...I...I know that you have to be disgusted with me after that. I know that...who wouldn’t…”

“Disgusted? Why would I be disgusted with you?” 

“Because. Because I was jealous. And that’s not good, right? Good boyfriends aren’t supposed to be jealous. If I’m jealous that means I don’t trust you, right? Or that I’m a loser...which I know I am...but still. I shouldn’t have been jealous…” 

“Aw, Levi, sweetie, there’s nothing wrong with jealousy. That’s normal. Everyone...” 

“No! You don’t get it. I was really really really jealous,” he pulled back so he could look you in the eyes, desperate for you to understand just how despicable he was, “Really jealous. Like lock-you-up-and-never-let-you-go, yandere type of jealousy.”

“But you didn’t Levi; you did let me go.” 

“It doesn’t matter! I still felt that way! I...I...I...still feel that way. Even now. I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay here. Forever. And I don’t care if it makes you hate me. I still….I still don’t want you to leave me.”

You listened carefully as Levi spoke, piecing together how he was feeling bit by bit. This sounded like it was more than just the incident at the tea house that had bothered him. It seemed like this is something he had been struggling with and battling all on his own, hiding it from you out of fear. The thought made you pull him close again, and he didn’t even attempt to resist you, he just melted in your arms.

There was so much you had to say to him now that you had a clearer picture of what he had been dealing with, that you scarcely knew where to begin. 

“Ok Levi, I’m going to talk now alright? And I need you to listen. Don’t interrupt me. Just listen. Ok?”

He nodded against your chest, he knew what was coming. This was the part where you would tell him how awful he was and how you never wanted to see him again and how much more wonderful all his other brothers were and how you regretted ever…

“I love you, Levi. You’re...well you’re my favorite person. The first one I always think of. The first one I want to share good news with. The first one I want to see when I’m upset. It’s you. It’s all you. 

I want you to tell me these things. Please. It’s ok to be jealous. I get jealous sometimes too. And well, I think because you tried to hide it and keep it to yourself...I think that’s what allowed it to fester. But if you had talked to me about it? If you had talked about it, we could have worked something out. Together.

I mean, we’re supposed to be a couple right? So aren’t we supposed to solve problems together? That’s all I want.”

“How am I supposed to tell you that I want to lock you in my room and never let you leave? How is that supposed to help? It’s not like you’re suddenly going to let me do it. All it would do is prove what a twisted pervert I am…”

“...I might.”

“Huh?!” Levi jerked back once more so that he could see your face. He had to be sure of what he was hearing. You...wanted…him to lock you up…? That can’t be right. There’s no way you’d sink to his level of depravity, even if you were only doing it to comfort him. 

“I said, if you were to ask me, I might let you lock me up.” 

Levi was now frozen in place. His brain was misfiring and he didn’t know if he should laugh, cry, or just be plain embarrassed. Why were you saying these things? Did you even understand what you were saying? You couldn’t just say something like that. Here he was trying to control his darker urges and you were...encouraging them. 

“We could do it like any other kink. Come up with a safeword. Have a plan in place. Talk about what was allowed and what wasn’t. I don’t see any reason not to, honestly. And if it’ll make you feel better, and give you some sort of outlet for your anxiety, then all the more reason to.” 

He really didn’t know how to process this. He had just revealed the darkest, ugliest parts of himself to you, and you weren’t even batting an eye. He had assumed you were going to take off running at some point during the conversation and never look back, but you were still here. You were still talking to him, still trying to understand him. And he just couldn’t believe it. How could you love him so much? 

“Hey, I mean it, Levi,” you reached out and cupped his cheek, stroking it gently with your thumb, “This isn’t something I want you to keep to yourself. You should tell me these things. You HAVE to tell me these things. If it’s something simple I can fix, then I can fix it. And if it’s not, then we can come up with a way to reassure you, and help you work through those emotions. Just...trust me a little, please?”

He wasn’t sure when, but at some point he had started crying again. But these weren’t the sad, angry, bitter tears from before. No, these were tears of pure relief. You understood him. You accepted him. You weren’t disgusted by him. He couldn’t put into words how happy that made him right now, so he just nodded again and held your hand closer to his cheek. 

“So now that we are on the same page...do you think you could tell me what it was you were so worried about yesterday?”

Levi didn’t even need to think about it now, of course he would tell you. He’d tell you everything. His demonic form was finally fading away, and he curled up as close as he could manage next to you, wanting to feel more of your warmth.

“I...umm...just...well…you looked like you were having a lot of fun with my brothers. And I well, I wondered if you had been having that much fun with me...because I didn’t really talk with you yesterday. I just sorta did my own thing while you watched…”

You were struggling not to laugh now. You really needed to keep it together because you didn’t want Levi to get the wrong idea, but it was a battle that was more difficult than you would have thought possible under the circumstances. 

“I’m sorry Levi,” you gave him another kiss to his forehead before resting yours against his, closing your eyes, “I’m not laughing at you I swear. I’m just laughing at the situation I guess? I mean, I don’t know what you saw when you found me sitting with your brothers, but I can promise you I was not enjoying myself. Frankly I was beyond pissed. Mammon I understood you know, because he’s always tagging along...but for everyone else to show up? It infuriated me.

And as for you being excited and ignoring me...sweetheart, that’s why I took you there in the first place. I know how much you love that stuff. And you are just so incredibly cute when you’re in your element and enjoying yourself. So I took you there knowing full well what I was getting myself into. That was the entire point.”

Well, now he just felt foolish. Everything he had been worried about...the anxiety that had been eating at him for the past 24 hours...he could have avoided it all if he had just talked to you earlier. He hated how simple it was. 

“Is there anything else?” you asked, checking in on Levi as he continued to come to terms with the fact your idea of a good time included watching him be the biggest dork he could. 

“Oh yeah, I guess. I uh, I wasn’t trying to ignore you yesterday. After we got home I mean. It was just like...like I couldn’t even hear you. I mean I could hear you...I knew you were talking...but I didn’t know what you were saying.”

You had to smile at his confession just now, maybe he hadn’t realized it before, but that was far from the first time he had stopped being able to verbally respond to you. There were plenty of other times where he had been stressed, that he just opted for laying near you and zoning out while you played with his hair or you cuddled and watched a movie together. 

“I know, Levi. I get it. I don’t know if you realize this but...that’s not the first time something like that has happened. And I didn’t think for a moment you were ignoring me on purpose, ok?”

Levi breathed another sigh of relief. You were amazing, so incredibly amazing. How did he manage to be this lucky? He knew there had been other times where he had struggled to respond to you, and he thought you hadn’t noticed because you never said anything to him. But it turns out you knew the whole time and had already decided to embrace that along with the rest of his quirks. 

The two of you continued to lay there in comfortable silence, holding each other close. You were hoping against hope that you had gotten through to Levi, and that he knew how much he meant to you and how willing you were to work things out with him. Telling you everything, and laying it all out there couldn’t have been easy for him. He was self conscious enough as it is about normal things, you couldn’t imagine how much resolve it had to have taken for him to open up to you about this.

Now that the anxiety, tension, and fear had left Levi’s body completely, he found himself struggling to remain awake. He wasn’t ready to sleep yet. Sleep was a waste. If he slept, you really would have to go. 

You could see how much of a fight he was putting up to remain awake. His eyelids kept drooping, and his head would occasionally bob, before he’d jerk himself awake once more. _So cute_ , you thought. 

“Hey, why don’t you get some rest? I’m gonna get started cleaning things up. But I promise I’ll still be here when you wake. I won’t go anywhere without telling you, ok?”

Levi nodded, he was so exhausted at this point, and your permission was all his body needed to stop its attempts at resistance. The last thing he remembered before he drifted off was the feeling of your lips on his cheek as you climbed out of the tub, and tucked him in. 

————

Leaving Levi in the tub, you set to work tidying up his room. If you were being honest, you wished you could stay by his side and get some rest yourself, but you knew that this had to be taken care of first. You didn’t want Levi to see the damage he’d done to his room when he had been in his demon form, because you were sure he wasn’t even completely aware of what he had been doing. If he saw things as they were, you imagined it may only send him into another guilty spiral of anxiety, and you didn’t want to chance it. You would just have to explain things to him later. 

As you worked, you couldn’t help but think of just how upset he had to have been. He loved his collections. He treasured them and went through great pains to preserve them so that they could always be enjoyed in perfect condition, as intended by their creators. 

But seeing everything scattered about how it was only served to remind you of the depth of his self loathing. He had been doing so well as of late, that you nearly had forgotten just how dark his thoughts tend to turn. For every thing you loved about him, he had something he hated about himself. 

And while he was proud in his declarations of love for his interests, he also was very much aware how people viewed him because of it. You wished you could get him to see himself as you did. Then maybe he could learn to have just a tiny bit more confidence, and just be slightly less anxious all the time. You didn’t want to change him - you just didn’t want to see him suffer. 

Just as you placed the last figurine back in its rightful position, you felt your DDD vibrate in your pocket. It was Mammon, and he was checking in on you. 

“Hey. Everything goin’ alright? He’s not refusin’ to let you leave, is he?”

You were about to type a reply, when another message came through soon after, 

“If ya don’t answer me I’m comin’ over there and kickin’ his ass.”

He was looking out for you, and it warmed your heart. You had dumped a lot on him earlier, and he had been so supportive and understanding. It couldn’t have been easy for him, you knew, to let you go back and see Levi again after the things you had confided in him. Mammon was insanely protective of you. And you really couldn’t blame him, especially considering you had had a couple near death experiences at the hands of his brothers, Levi included. 

“I’m fine. Levi is asleep.” You sent your message through quickly, before deciding to send along another with a new selfie attached as proof of your condition. 

“Good. Stay that way. Dinner is soon.”

You smiled as you flicked the screen of your DDD off, and slipped it back into your pocket. Looking over the room once more, you felt a tiny bit proud at how well you had done restoring order. 

You didn’t notice it, but Levi had woken up a little bit ago and had been watching you work. He was so grateful to you for cleaning things up, even if he was embarrassed that you had to have seen him like that. The fact that you managed to return everything to its rightful place was a testament to how much time you had spent with him, and how much attention you paid to things he was interested in, and it made him feel so incredibly loved. 

His memories from most of the day were fuzzy, as they usually were whenever he lost control of himself like that. He was thankful he had managed to keep it together long enough for you to leave this morning too. He didn’t know what he would have done if he really had hurt you, instead of just taking out his anxiety on himself. The thought made him shiver, and as he pulled his blanket tighter around his shoulders, he realized his shirt was missing. 

His cheeks flushed once he remembered that only a few hours ago you had been snuggled up close to him, and therefore had to have noticed. Even though it made no sense after everything else that had happened, the realization embarrassed him greatly. You may have already been intimate plenty of times before, but letting you see him naked outside of those times still felt awkward. 

When he looked up again, he saw you smiling at him. You had been watching as he tried to cover his body with his blanket. The fact that he was blushing and embarrassed about his state of undress helped you relax. If he had the wherewithal to care about that, you knew he was going to be alright. 

You walked over to him, and knelt by the edge of the tub, crossing your arms and resting them on its side. Levi looked away from you now that you were close, and you reached out to tuck some stray hairs behind his ear. It was a sweet gesture, but entirely unproductive given the state of the rest of his beautiful purplish, blue locks. 

“Hey you. How are you feeling?” 

“Better. Just a little tired, I guess.” He gave you a sheepish smile, “Umm, thank you. For cleaning up. I know it had to have been a hassle. Sorry you had to see things like that. But ummm...thanks.”

You shook your head, “Don’t worry about it. That’s what I’m here for. I mean, you’d do the same for me right?” 

Levi blushed again, and gave you a small nod. Of course he would do the same for you. How could you possibly think anything else? He might not be as eloquent as you, but he definitely would have done his absolute best to be there for you. He wouldn’t have abandoned you, that’s for sure. 

“I uh...think I need to shower. Before dinner, you know.” 

“Hmm, maybe I should join you,” you teased, a smile playing at your lips. 

“Yeah, maybe you should.” 

Now it was your turn to be embarrassed, and your face flushed crimson. You were used to being the one with the upper hand, and you weren’t sure how you felt about this sudden role reversal. But one thing was for sure - you certainly weren’t about to complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all have enjoyed this fic! I really wanted to depict a darker side to Levi, but I felt it important that he was able to grow as person (demon?).
> 
> I also attempted to make it clear that he was not trying to emotionally manipulate you. Besides his brief mental breakdown, he continues to respect your autonomy and feelings even though he desperately wanted to do anything but. Setting and respecting boundaries is essential to any healthy relationship, and I hope that message comes across. 
> 
> Another thing I feel is worth mentioning is that I gave Levi a lot of autistic traits, based on my own experiences. That’s just how I interpret his character in the game. Every autistic person is different though, so you may perceive him differently.


End file.
